mardi 28 février 2017

Spring And A Joke

Spring
Spring has arrived in Mollans before the end of February. It's not unusual here to have a day very early in the year when it is possible to eat outside at lunchtime but we have now had two in the last ten days. And I've already played boules in shirt-sleeves on several afternoons. The weather is still unpredictable and I've no doubt we will have some cold spells over the next couple of months but the winter is defintely over and spring here.

As if the weather wasn't indication enough local flora have underlined the point, with primroses and violets blooming, as also are almond trees in the orchards. But spring is the season when I miss England most. A friend and I reminisced recently about this. We both now live in climates where the interval between winter and summer is shorter and less gentle than in England. We both miss the plethora of spring flowers. Here, in the wild, you can find primroses, violets and, which you can't find growing wild in England, tulips. But where are the bluebells, wood anenomes, daffodils, foxgloves and honeysuckle that adorn the English countryside in spring? I specifically miss the smell of deciduous woods in England, fetid but pleasant, when heat gets to the damp under the trees and creates an almost sub-tropical feeling in which you can sense rebirth stirring. «Oh to be in England…….» as Wordsworth wrote.

Yet there is still plenty to like about spring here. Spring always gives me a psychological boost and gets me rummaging in the back garden and among the pots in the front, clearing out the winter debris, seeing which plants have succumbed to the rigours of winter and need to be replaced, spreading fertiliser and getting ready for the early summer show of flowers. And watering for the first time; we haven't had any significant rain for weeks and the ground badly needs some. Despite what I miss in the English spring, spring here is still one of my favourite times of the year.

A Joke
A joke came my way recently that has particular resonance in the Brexit situation. It goes as follows.

A politician dies and finds himself in front of St Peter. « What did you do in life ? » asks St Peter.

«I was a politician», the politician replies.

«Ah», says St Peter, «there is a new rule for politicians. They have to spend one day in hell and then come back to me and vote to go to heaven or hell. So you will go to experience hell tomorrow and, the day after, come back and see me again to vote».

The next day the politician wakes up in bed in a sumptuous hotel room. Outside the sun is shining and the room has a view over a beautiful beach and adjoining golf course. The sea is clear and calm and beautiful bikini clad girls are palying on the beach. The politician can hardly believe his eyes but rushes out to enjoy himself. He has a wonderful time and, returning to his hotel in the evening, finds a delicious banquet awaiting him. The next morning he finds himself in front of St Peter again.

«Well», says St Peter, «you have seen hell and now it is time to vote. Do you vote for heaven or hell ?»

The politician is in a quandary. «I was sure I was going to vote for heaven», he says, «but now that I have seen hell I can't think of anywhere better so I vote for hell.»

The next morning he wakes up on a bed of nails, the smell of sulphur in his nostrils, the sound of people screaming in agony in his ears and a monster in front of him, glaring at him.

«Who are you?» asks the politican.
«I am Satan», the monster replies.

«But where is the hotel, the beach and all the girls?» the politician complains.

«You were a politician», Satan says. «you know how it is. The hell you saw was hell before you voted. You've voted now and this is what you get.»

If think that is quite a good joke. If you want a bad joke, think about Brexit.

vendredi 3 février 2017

Politics

Politics In France
The presidential primaries are now almost done and the voters know pretty well the choices they will have later in the year, subject to any last minute changes. A friend of mine, a retired professor of French literature, has already made his choice; he is not going to vote. The change he wants to see is a count of deliberately spoiled votes as against those accidentally spoiled. Why (to both points)?. He says he won't vote because the choice is between fraudsters and fantasisers and he doesn't want to vote for either. Anyone in the UK recognise that scenario? And he wants deliberately spoiled votes counted separately because that would provide a gauge of the electorate's disaffection with politicians of the day.

I happen to believe absolutely in democracy as (Churchill's words) “the least bad form of government” but have always acknowledged a glaring weakness. It encourages short-termism, since governments focus on whatever will show a positive effect before the next election, and neglect essentials such as maintenance of infrastructure, unless and to the extent that job creation demands it. My friend has highlighted another to me. What if all the possibilities offered for election are all unacceptable (to reasonable people); do you vote for the least undesirable or not vote at all? The point could have ramifications in the UK.

And In The UK
Among the vapid phrases now abundant in UK politics is “the will of the people” (37% of the electorate to be precise) as an excuse for politicians not following their formerly considered and stated beliefs. So Brexit is going to happen. It can't have escaped any politician's notice that what will also happen, in three year time, is a general election. As things stand the UK will then have left the EU and be looking for trade agreements with a large number of countries and better ones alone than it could obtain as part of a 28 nation block. A former governor of the Bank of England has been quoted as saying that he has never known an international trade agreement take less than 5-7 years, so a single year doesn't look too promising. So what benefits from leaving the EU, assuming there are any, will be visible in 2020? I can't see any, persisting chimeras, hopes and wish fulfilment aside, but I can see various forms of chaos. I can also see Brexit being a major issue in the election and, given our blame culture, a lot of blame being passed around. Who to blame? Those who voted Leave are not going to blame themselves (Heaven forbid!) so they will have to blame the government handling of Brexit or the referendum. The Conservative defence will be that you may not like the situation now but we are the best party to get you out of it and it would be harmful to interrupt negotiations.  Trust those that created the mess to clear it up.  I can't see that attracting a lot of votes. Those who voted Remain are certainly not going to feel supportive of the government. So what could save the Conservative party from a potential landslide defeat? The only thing I can think of is Jeremy Corbyn as leader of the Labour party, well qualified to perform a “snatching defeat from the jaws of victory” act. So what has persuaded the majority of Conservative MPs to vote as they have? Surely not a death wish? They must be betting on Jeremy.